At what point did food become something to feel guilty or ashamed about? At what point did food become a moral and ethical dilemma? When did it become ok to make people feel bad about themselves for doing what they biologically need to do, to live and survive?

Food is neither right nor wrong

Food isn’t good or bad: it is fuel.

One of the first things I ask people who are struggling with anxiety, is if they think that anxiety is a good or bad thing. This is a trick question of course, because I know that 90% of people are going to say “bad”.

This is one of my favorite moments, as this is an opportunity for me to help someone see that what he or she think is “bad” might actually be really helpful. Talk about NEW POSSIBILITIES!

We all dream of being loved unconditionally, having all of our needs met, growing up to find loving relationships in friends, romantic partners and to be loving parents....

Sometimes this happens and sometimes love goes terribly wrong. When love goes terribly wrong it can leave a person scared, confused, hurt and struggling to make sense of relationships and the world.

Think about the last time you got yelled at...

How did it feel?

Not so great, right?

I hate being yelled at! It makes me feel belittled, hurt, angry and all i want to do is yell and be mean right back.

Yes, that is my impulse: To yell back. At least most of the time. Other times i want to run away or I just stand there like a deer in headlights.

Truth be told, sometimes i do yell back .... (Yes even us therapists are not perfect! We are humans and just as flawed as anyone else).

So what actually happens at a physiological level when we yell? And why is it not helpful?

 I’m very ugly

So don’t try to convince me that

I am a very beautiful person

Because at the end of the day

I hate myself in every single way

And I’m not going to lie to myself by saying

There is beauty inside of me that matters

So rest assured I will remind myself

That I am a worthless, terrible person

And nothing you say will make me believe

I still deserve love

Because no matter what

I am not good enough to be loved

And I am in no position to believe that

Beauty does exist within me

Because whenever I look in the mirror I always think

Am I as ugly as people say?

By Abdullah Shoaib

I have lost count of how many times someone has asked me to fix their child, fix their brain; make their thoughts or flashbacks go away or erase certain memories.

My answer: I wish I had a magic wand that gave me those powers, but I do not.

Then, I gently have to break the news that there is no magical cure for whatever they are going through. There are no pills that work overnight and that therapy is not a quick fix solution that is done to you.

Fall is here

Winter is near

It’s always bittersweet

As I finish off the last of my thanksgiving leftovers, I savor and enjoy.

It is only once a year that we make stuffing, cranberry sauce and French silk pie.

I think about how grateful I am for my mother’s wonderful cooking and think back to Thursday’s meal.

This year my mother decided to read a poem about gratitude and hand out questions to each attendee that we were required to answer.

As we honor the 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, the cruelty and violence of man becomes real once again. It is painful to watch the documentaries, see the images and hear the stories of those who survived. I would prefer not to remember in order to avoid having to sit with the uncomfortableness and the unease. However, what will happen if we don’t remember? Do we not risk repeating history?

Have you ever tried making healthier food choices, but veered from your meal plan four different times in a week?

Are you looking for love, but when things get serious in a relationship, you run the other way as fast as you can?

Perhaps you have been putting in overtime, stayed late every night for a month, gone above and beyond, all to be considered for a work promotion and then skip an important meeting with your largest client.